Are you hungry?

One thing I stray away from the most is writing. Not because I’m scared of the opinions of others, but because I don’t want to face my truths. Most of my writing comes from a real place that I in some way envisioned or experienced. Writing can be fulfilling but also very draining. If I don’t end it with a solution I just end up empty and with a headache. With so much going on right now I find it hard not to write. It’s my only outlet. I’ve had this headache off and on for months now. My food intake has been off balanced so naturally I thought it was a hunger headache. After I would eat and rest the headache was still there. So what was the issue? What am I in search of? What am I hungry for? Nothing I eat is satisfying, the smell of certain types of food makes my stomach turn. My appetite is suppressed. I have a taste for nothing and at this point I just eat anything so I don’t pass out. I live to pay for that later when my stomach doesn’t agree with what I ate. Mind you I said this has been going on for months. No real satisfaction, no fulfillment, temporary enjoyment, foul consumption, just emptiness. I considered doing a cleanse but you can’t remove what’s not there. I’m constantly awakened at night from the sound of my stomach growling. Once again I’m left with no choice but to just eat anything and I pay for that the next morning as well. I finally work up the nerve to find a permanent fix. The temporary is what I was use to and only left me feeling empty, uneasy, and sometimes dissatisfied. So I decide to get to the root cause of my issue only to find that it was mental. I had been trapped in my mind and convinced myself that my food intake was okay, that I was okay. I was getting whatever quick fix I could find because I was too tired from overthinking to prepare for a real meal. I thought everything I ate tasted the same and that no matter what I ate I would never be satisfied. It got so bad that I couldn’t recognize a well prepared meal from fast food because my taste buds reacted to them all the same. I was tripping. My weight was fluctuating, I was moody, and I was almost unrecognizable. I was starving myself of a good meal and didn’t realize it. I had to make a change. The moment I stepped outside of my own way of thinking and broadened my scope my food options increased, I slept peacefully at night, my headache subsided and my meals were more fulfilling. I threw out those quick fixes, midnight snacks, and fillers of temporary satisfaction. In doing so, I cleansed my body from the inside out and rid it of all toxins. Im telling you it took an act of God to get this done. As I mentioned this went on for months now. For months I was uneasy, irritable, experienced sporadic headaches, awakened at night, moody, just plain unhappy. If you come across some of these symptoms, you need to ask yourself, Are you hungry?

7 Comments Add yours

  1. TwinMomHQ says:

    Looking forward to your next post!

    Like

  2. Jack says:

    Youll be aboe to play it anytime you want.? Daddy answered.
    ?Ꭺs a result off talking aboоut how nice God is makes him Ьlisѕful and its worship.
    Play it earlier than you fall asleep tonight and while yoou wakе up in the morning аnd God will likely
    be near you all dаy long.

    Like

  3. Tyler says:

    I enjoy reading your blog. You’re giving hope and the courage to start mind. Be well and keep writing!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. jusbnicole says:

      Thank you so much! I hope that you do start yours so I can read it. Writing is a great outlet for me and I’m sure blogging will help and encourage you as well.

      Like

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